An Open Letter to Parents of Children Struggling with an Eating Disorder
Dear Parents,
This is an incredibly difficult journey you’re embarking on—one that you never anticipated and certainly never wished for. It’s a path marked by moments of helplessness, confusion, anger, and deep grief. You may find yourself staring at your child and not recognizing the person in front of you. You may wonder, Where did I go wrong? or How did we get here? These feelings are valid—and you are not alone.
I encourage you to do something incredibly brave: lean in.
Lean Into the Hard Moments
Just as your child is being asked to face their discomfort in therapy, I invite you to do the same. Lean into the distress when you can. Acknowledge the fear, uncertainty, and pain that are bubbling beneath the surface. And don’t do it alone—lean on your support system, whether it’s your partner, extended family, friends, or your own therapist. You’re going to need that support, and it’s okay to ask for it.
Growth Happens Here—For You, Too
Eating disorders don’t just affect the person diagnosed; they impact the whole family. Many families have told us that, through this journey, they’ve grown stronger and closer. They’ve had honest conversations about food, body image, and emotional wellbeing. They’ve explored their own internalized beliefs and learned to communicate more openly. And perhaps most importantly, they’ve shown a willingness to evolve.
That said, let’s be clear: this is not your fault. Eating disorders are incredibly complex, and no single person or event causes them. But how a family functions—particularly in relation to food, emotions, and communication—can influence how effective recovery will be.
We all grow up in a culture steeped in diet talk and body ideals, and it’s likely we’ve internalized more than we realize. Taking time to reflect on how those messages show up in your own behavior can be transformative—not just for your child, but for your entire family.
You’re Doing Your Best—and That’s Enough
You’re already doing so much: planning meals, trying to say the right things, setting boundaries, and walking a tightrope between support and structure. And now you’re being asked to self-reflect, too? It’s a lot. We know that. And it’s okay if some days, you can’t do it all.
Focus on being present. Collaborate with your child’s treatment team. Keep showing up, even when it’s hard. The small wins will start to build. The fog will begin to lift. And life, slowly but surely, will feel more manageable again.
Our hope is that through this process, your family emerges not only intact—but stronger, more connected, and more resilient than ever before.
Support for the Whole Family
At Empowering You, we believe that eating disorder recovery is a family process. We offer support not just for the individual struggling, but also for the parents and caregivers walking this journey alongside them. From family sessions to parent consultations, we’re here to help you feel seen, supported, and equipped.
If you’re looking for guidance or just a place to start, reach out to our team. You don’t have to do this alone—and you’re already doing more than you know.
