What Eating Disorder Recovery Really Looks Like
The Goal of Recovery from an Eating Disorder
The goal of attending countless therapy and nutrition sessions when you’re struggling with an eating disorder is to get to the Promised Land—recovery. But what does recovery look like, and how do you know when you get there?
This is a question I love to explore with clients because no two clients answer it the same way. For some, recovery means their eating disorder is always present but more dormant than active in their thoughts and daily lives. Others believe their eating disorder will disappear, leaving them free from its grip.
Neither answer is wrong—I’ve seen both be true. Allowing clients to define what their recovery looks like makes the journey feel more personal and achievable.
Signs of Recovery
While recovery looks different for everyone, there are some common signs therapists look for that might indicate you’ve entered the recovery stage. While not true for everyone, these tend to resonate with most clients.
1. Curiosity Replaces Automatic Behaviors
When urges arise, you no longer blindly engage in behaviors. Instead, you’re curious. You might ask yourself:
• Why are these urges coming up?
• What emotions am I feeling?
Once you identify the need the urge is trying to meet, you can talk back to the eating disorder and choose a recovery-oriented behavior.
2. Food and Eating Situations Feel Neutral
Foods and eating situations that used to make you anxious or guilty now feel neutral. Going out to eat or sitting down with family no longer brings up overwhelming emotions.
For example, eating at Chick-fil-A might feel like a no-brainer as you confidently order your nuggets and waffle fries without second-guessing yourself.
3. Coping Skills Take the Lead
When stressful situations arise, your first reaction may no longer involve eating disorder urges. Instead, you use other coping skills, like:
• Calling a support person.
• Getting organized.
• Letting yourself cry to process emotions.
4. Therapy and Nutrition Sessions Shift Focus
Therapy starts to go deeper, focusing on the underlying issues that contribute to the eating disorder instead of the eating disorder itself.
Similarly, nutrition sessions might feel less intense as food rules decrease, fear foods lose their power, and intuitive eating becomes the norm rather than the exception.
5. Relationships Evolve
Your relationships begin to shift in recovery. Some relationships deepen as you embrace more vulnerability, while others might feel strained as you set boundaries or live in alignment with your values.
This doesn’t mean these relationships are over—they may just require time to adjust to this “new” version of you.
Recovery Is Worth It
I don’t make many promises in therapy, but I can guarantee that recovery is worth it. Many clients in recovery agree, though they’ll also tell you the journey is incredibly difficult.
Eating disorders exist for a reason, and confronting the emotions they suppress can feel overwhelming. But over time, as you allow yourself to feel those emotions, they lose their intensity.
Recovery creates mental space for what truly matters—relationships, joy, and a sense of fulfillment. If you’re struggling with why you want to recover, talk to your therapist. It’s a powerful conversation, and our job is to help you discover why recovery is not only possible but also worth every step.
The goal of going to countless therapy and nutrition sessions when you’re struggling with an eating disorder is to get to the Promised Land—recovery. But what does recovery look like, and how do you know when you get there?
This is something I love to explore with clients because no two clients answer these questions the same way. For some, they believe that their eating disorder will always be present, but more dormant than active in their thoughts and daily lives. Others believe their eating disorder will disappear and they won’t have to struggle against it forever. Neither answer is wrong—I’ve seen both be true—and I have found that by allowing clients to determine what their future looks like, it makes recovery feel more achievable.
However, there are some signs that we look for as therapists that might indicate we have entered the recovery stage of the journey. While these might not be true for all people, I would say they are true for most.
When urges arise, you are no longer blindly engaging in behaviors. Instead, you’re curious. You might ask yourself why these urges are coming up and what emotions you’re feeling. Once you determine what need that urge is trying to meet, you are able to talk back to the eating disorder and choose the recovery-oriented behavior.
Foods and eating situations that previously gave you anxiety or made you feel guilty are now neutral. Going out to eat or sitting down with family no longer brings strong emotions, besides joy and gratitude. Eating at Chick-Fil-A feels like a no-brainer as you pull up to the drive-thru to order your nuggets and waffle fries.
When stressful situations occur, urges may not even immediately arise. Instead, other skills that you have learned to cope with and manage your emotions are utilized, such as calling supports, getting organized, or having a good cry.
Therapy sessions are deeper, exploring and processing the issues that are underlying the eating disorder, instead of the eating disorder itself. Nutrition sessions start to feel “boring,” as food rules have decreased, anxiety is no longer present, fear foods are no longer scary, and intuitive eating feels more like the norm than the exception.
Relationships in your life have changed, which sometimes feels fulfilling but sometimes creates its own challenges. Some relationships feel deeper and more authentic as you start to show more vulnerability. Others might feel less comfortable with this “new” version of you that sets boundaries, talks about emotions, and engages in behaviors aligned with your values. This does not mean these relationships are over, but they may take more time to feel comfortable.
I don’t make many promises in therapy, but I can guarantee that recovery is worth it. Many of my clients who are in recovery would agree, and they would also say that the journey to getting there is incredibly difficult. Eating disorders exist for a reason, and confronting that can feel really scary. Allowing yourself to feel emotions when they have been numbed and muted for so long often feels overwhelming at first, but that eventually dissipates as the more your emotions are felt, the less “big” they feel. Recovery provides more mental space for the things in life that truly matter and ensures that you are able to exist in relationships in ways that truly make you feel good. If you’re struggling with why you want to recover, talk to your therapist about it! There’s so much to unpack there, and our job is to help you figure out why recovery will be good for you.