What Eating Disorder Recovery Really Looks Like
The Goal of Recovery from an Eating Disorder
The goal of attending countless therapy and nutrition sessions when you’re struggling with an eating disorder is to get to the Promised Land—recovery. But what does recovery look like, and how do you know when you get there?
This is a question I love to explore with clients because no two clients answer it the same way. For some, recovery means their eating disorder is always present but more dormant than active in their thoughts and daily lives. Others believe their eating disorder will disappear, leaving them free from its grip.
Neither answer is wrong—I’ve seen both be true. Allowing clients to define what their recovery looks like makes the journey feel more personal and achievable.
Signs of Recovery
While recovery looks different for everyone, there are some common signs therapists look for that might indicate you’ve entered the recovery stage. While not true for everyone, these tend to resonate with most clients.
1. Curiosity Replaces Automatic Behaviors
When urges arise, you no longer blindly engage in behaviors. Instead, you’re curious. You might ask yourself:
• Why are these urges coming up?
• What emotions am I feeling?
Once you identify the need the urge is trying to meet, you can talk back to the eating disorder and choose a recovery-oriented behavior.
2. Food and Eating Situations Feel Neutral
Foods and eating situations that used to make you anxious or guilty now feel neutral. Going out to eat or sitting down with family no longer brings up overwhelming emotions.
For example, eating at Chick-fil-A might feel like a no-brainer as you confidently order your nuggets and waffle fries without second-guessing yourself.
3. Coping Skills Take the Lead
When stressful situations arise, your first reaction may no longer involve eating disorder urges. Instead, you use other coping skills, like:
• Calling a support person.
• Getting organized.
• Letting yourself cry to process emotions.
4. Therapy and Nutrition Sessions Shift Focus
Therapy starts to go deeper, focusing on the underlying issues that contribute to the eating disorder instead of the eating disorder itself.
Similarly, nutrition sessions might feel less intense as food rules decrease, fear foods lose their power, and intuitive eating becomes the norm rather than the exception.
5. Relationships Evolve
Your relationships begin to shift in recovery. Some relationships deepen as you embrace more vulnerability, while others might feel strained as you set boundaries or live in alignment with your values.
This doesn’t mean these relationships are over—they may just require time to adjust to this “new” version of you.
Recovery Is Worth It
I don’t make many promises in therapy, but I can guarantee that recovery is worth it. Many clients in recovery agree, though they’ll also tell you the journey is incredibly difficult.
Eating disorders exist for a reason, and confronting the emotions they suppress can feel overwhelming. But over time, as you allow yourself to feel those emotions, they lose their intensity.
Recovery creates mental space for what truly matters—relationships, joy, and a sense of fulfillment. If you’re struggling with why you want to recover, talk to your therapist. It’s a powerful conversation, and our job is to help you discover why recovery is not only possible but also worth every step.
