New Year, New Me? A Fed-Up Client Talks about New Year’s Resolutions
At the start of each year, resolutions flood social media feeds—often centered on weight loss, dieting, and fitness goals. But for those in eating disorder recovery, this time of year can be deeply triggering. To better understand the impact of New Year’s resolutions from the perspective of someone in recovery, Kate interviewed one of her adolescent clients, C, about how her relationship with resolutions has evolved through treatment.
Diet Culture Disguised as Self-Improvement
Kate: How have New Year’s resolutions impacted you in the past when you were in your eating disorder?
C: Resolutions were a way to refocus and intensify my eating disorder. I’d set extreme goals around weight loss, body image, and restriction. It was never about improvement—it was about punishment and unattainable ideals. They made me feel like I’d failed in the past year and needed to do more to measure up.
Kate: How did social media play into that?
C: Social media constantly pushed exercise routines and diets—especially toward teenagers. It made it seem like the only way to have a successful year was to become thinner or work harder. You never see posts encouraging rest or balance. And when those messages do show up, they’re often dismissed or ridiculed.
Redefining “Healthy” in Recovery
Kate: Has your definition of health shifted through treatment?
C: Absolutely. In treatment, we weren’t allowed to walk much or even take the stairs. That sounds extreme, but it was necessary—we had to stop using movement as compensation. It was one of the healthiest things we could do. Society would view that level of rest as lazy or unhealthy, but in reality, it was essential for healing.
Kate: That also applies to things like dessert, right?
C: Definitely. We had to eat dessert three times a week. It was hard at first, especially because I used to have resolutions to avoid sweets altogether or eat things like frozen grapes instead. Treatment helped me realize that desserts aren’t the enemy. You’re allowed to enjoy food, and it’s okay to eat what you want when you want it.
Moving From Resolutions to Intentions
Kate: How do you approach New Year’s differently now?
C: I’ve learned that you don’t have to set a rigid goal for the entire year. You’re constantly evolving—so your goals should, too. The idea that a single date should dictate who we become is flawed. Life happens. Look at 2020—no one could’ve predicted that. Goals need to be flexible and realistic.
Kate: And what about the “Quarantine 15” message that’s everywhere?
C: It’s damaging. People’s bodies changed during quarantine, and that’s okay. We weren’t moving as much, and many of us were emotionally drained. Making weight gain something to be feared stigmatizes normal body changes—and reinforces harmful ideals about health and worth.
Kate: It really marginalizes folks in larger bodies and those in recovery who need to gain weight.
C: Exactly. Recovery often includes weight gain, but society makes it feel shameful. That fear gets internalized, and it harms people who are already struggling. We assume that thin = healthy, but at my sickest, when I looked “smallest,” I was the least healthy I’ve ever been.
The Problem with “New Year, New Me”
Kate: What’s your take on the “new year, new me” mantra?
C: Total BS. You don’t become a different person at midnight. We’re the same people on January 1st as we were on December 31st. Expecting ourselves to change overnight just sets us up for disappointment.
Kate: It sounds like you’re shifting away from resolutions and toward something more sustainable.
C: Yes—intentions. I’ve set one intention to stop purging. And if I slip up, it’s not a failure. It’s a signal that something deeper is going on. Intentions allow room for growth and grace. Resolutions don’t.
You Are Enough—Exactly As You Are
C: We’re taught to believe that we need to overhaul ourselves every year. But the truth is, we’re enough already. Goals are fine, but they need to reflect who we really are—not who society tells us to be. Especially after the year we’ve all had, surviving is enough.
Kate: Hell yes. Let’s leave behind the toxic resolutions and focus on healing, intention, and self-compassion this year.
Redefine Your Relationship with Resolutions
At Empowering You, we support clients in letting go of harmful ideals and embracing a more compassionate, values-based approach to growth. Whether you're in recovery or exploring your relationship with food, we’re here to walk beside you.
If you're ready to step away from diet culture and toward self-acceptance, reach out today. A new year doesn't require a new you—just a deeper connection to the one who's already here.
