A Guide on How to Survive the Holidays with Grace & Good Cheer: Part 1
Surviving the Holidays with Grace and Positivity
The holiday season is fast approaching, and you know what that means: unwanted comments about your body and appearance from Aunt Karen, a play-by-play of what you’ve eaten so far from Uncle Joe, and your mother asking, “Haven’t you eaten enough?” as soon as you dare consider a second helping of that amazing stuffing. For people with eating disorders, the holidays can feel anything but festive. Some of my most traumatic food memories come from family members being too aware of what was on my plate, too comfortable commenting on my body, or justifying offensive remarks with, “I’m just saying,” as if that negates the harm caused.
This year, thanks to COVID limiting gatherings, many of us are relieved at the idea of smaller celebrations and fewer opportunities to encounter these uncomfortable moments. However, for those navigating recovery, the season can still bring challenges. To help, I’ve put together a guide to surviving the holidays with grace, spreading joy, and showing yourself the kindness you deserve.
A Reminder for Those in Recovery
If you’re in recovery or preparing to start your journey, here’s one tip for navigating the holidays: try to remember that not everyone thinks like us.
I know, it’s strange to imagine. It’s still odd to me that not everyone has a panic attack at the thought of the calories in a slice of pumpkin pie or secretly interprets “You look nice” as coded criticism about my body. But over time, I’ve realized that my thoughts—conditioned by my eating disorder—aren’t universal.
The reactive, hair-trigger responses I’ve developed are not reflective of how most people think or behave. Somewhere along the way, I learned to hate myself, my body, and the fact that I take up space. Therapy has helped me recognize that these conditioned responses are mine to work through, and they’re not the responsibility of innocent bystanders at the dinner table.
Strategies for Navigating the Season
• Breathe and remain calm. When the anxiety hits, pause and take a deep breath. Ground yourself in the present moment.
• Reach out for support. Have a trusted friend or loved one on standby to check in with if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Set boundaries. It’s okay to politely excuse yourself from triggering conversations or situations.
• Remember your worth. You are allowed to take up space, to enjoy the holidays, and to eat without guilt or shame.
• Give yourself grace. If participating in holiday gatherings feels too difficult this year, it’s okay to prioritize your emotional and physical safety.
You Deserve Joy
The holidays are meant to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. While recovery work can make this season challenging, it’s also an opportunity to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you are deserving of happiness—just like everyone else. If this season feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to step back and focus on what you need to navigate the holidays safely and meaningfully. You are worth it.