A First-Timers Guide to Therapy

I want to start by sayingcongratulations! I truly believe therapy can be an incredibly rewardingexperience, but it can also be really hard too. The fact that you knew this (ormaybe you didn’t, but now you do!), and still chose to go down the path of findinga therapist already shows the strength you possess. This inner strength willhelp you as you sail into uncharted waters and act as a foundation for yourtreatment. Therapists are always looking for their clients’ strengths, skills,and talents, and you deciding to do this for yourself is not something to glossover.

So now you’ve made thismonumental leap but you’re probably filled with questions about what to expect.Every therapist is different and utilizes different skills and theoreticalorientations, but there are some things that are pretty universal:

Confidentiality

Most of what you say duringa therapy session stays between you and your therapist. While there areexceptions to this due to legal and ethical codes (such as being a risk to yourselfor others, child or elderly abuse, or subpoenas), this will be the one space inyour life where you can be unapologetically you. Therapists are meant to benon-judgmental, so, while it may take a few sessions to build trust, this isthe best place to work on issues that you may feel too uncomfortable to bringup with other people in your life.

Your Space

This is also a place that’sentirely about YOU. While some therapists disclose more about themselves thanothers, this is the one space where the focus is entirely on your problems,where you don’t have to worry about the other person “relating” to you and thenturning the conversation onto themselves. For an hour a week, the world willrevolve around you.

Therapeutic Relationship

The single most importanttool a therapist has is the therapeutic relationship. This means that theconnection you build with your therapist is the key to reaching your goals.After a few sessions, if you feel like you and your therapist haven’t quite“clicked,” bring it up with them and get referrals for someone else. We’re onlyas helpful as the information we’re given, so we won’t be particularlyeffective if the client is withholding pieces of their lives because they feellike they don’t trust us. Find someone you genuinely like and trust in order toget the best results.

A Microcosm

All of this being said, thetherapeutic relationship is typically a microcosm of your relationships outsideof treatment. This means that the communication patterns, boundaries, andbehaviors you exhibit with other people in your life will occur with yourtherapist. If you have difficulty trusting people and opening up outside oftherapy, it will be hard for you to do that with your therapist too. And that’sokay. It also doesn’t mean you need a new therapist, it just means it will takelonger to build trust in your relationship.

Openness to New Experiences

Therapy on TV and therapyin real life aren’t always the same. You won’t be lying on a couch with youreyes shut. Your therapist will say more than “mhm” and “I see” during thecourse of your 50 minutes. Your therapist will not ask you “how does that makeyou feel?” every other minute because it’s too generic and could mean a lot ofthings. I find a typical therapy session to be filled with laughter and tearsand differs each time. Sometimes you may be prompted to complete an art orwriting activity. Maybe your therapist will incorporate movement. Be open tothese experiences and give honest feedback after about how they impacted you.

In conclusion, I firmlybelieve that everyone should go to therapy at some point over the course oftheir lives and no issue is too big or too small for a therapist to handle. Forthose of you reading this and thinking that you don’t deserve the help, I wantyou to know that other people (such as myself) believe differently. No matterwhat you have been through in your life, no matter how poorly you feel aboutyourself, you are worth the help you are seeking. Hopefully by the end of yourtherapeutic journey, you’ll believe you’re deserving of it too.

KateBurns is a therapist with Empowering You, specializing in eating disorders. Sheis currently running an outpatientgroup to support women with eating disorders.Please contact ustoday if interested in support