The Many Faces of Grief

Many people associate grief with the emotional experience of losing a loved one. While this is true, grief can also arise in other, more abstract situations. For example, clients I’ve worked with have grieved the loss of feeling safe in the world after a sexual assault, the loss of their identity to an eating disorder, or the absence of the nurturing relationship they deserved but never had with a parental figure. Just because a loss isn’t physical doesn’t make the grieving process any less real.

Allowing ourselves to grieve abstract losses—such as safety, attachment, or identity—validates our emotions of longing, sadness, guilt, and loss. Acknowledging these emotions helps us recognize how the loss has shaped us while empowering us to decide how it will influence our future.

In trauma work, I’ve seen clients grieve their loss of safety and trust in others and then transform their trauma into a source of resilience. By showing themselves compassion and acknowledging how their lives have changed, they make the conscious decision to no longer let trauma dictate their daily lives.

Change is inherently difficult for many people to tolerate, and grieving what we’ve lost in the process of upheaval is often necessary to move forward. If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself: What has changed in my life recently, and have I lost something in the process? Give yourself permission to grieve that loss. Tap into your strengths, creativity, and connections with others to help you process. If you need extra support, working with a therapist can provide the space to explore your grief out loud.

Remember: grief has no right or wrong way. Your experience is valid, and your process is your own.